Home About JenBookJournal ContributeMySpace Jen Abbas Resources
Book ResourcesMusic ResourcesMisc. LinksBecoming Abbas' Child10 Tips For Divorced ParentsArticlesRemind Me When Book Comes OutBook News & Updates

Resources > Books That Rock My World

ur parents have given us a lot to unlearn. If we reflect on their lives and marriages, we may find many traditions we would like to continue, but we will also want to construct a different foundation in order to establish a new legacy. This requires intentional reflection and a committed resolve to change your thinking. Consider these books the materials for your mind's remodel.

Jump to a specific resource topic:
01. Our Story
02. Make Peace
03. Grow In Our Faith
04. Honor Our Parents
05. Learn From Our Parents' Past
06. Seek Accountability
07. Create Our Own Marriage Model
08. Be Prepared
09. Choose Well
10. Choose To Love
11. Our Identity As Abba's Child

Is there a book you'd like to recommend that's not on this list? Click here to share with others in the AbbasChild.org Community.

Our Story:
Second Chances: Men, Women & Children a Decade after Divorce by Judith Wallerstein & Sandra Blakeslee (Houghton Miffin, 1996). Judith Wallerstein is THE most prominent expert in the long-term effects of divorce on children. This book introduces the idea of the Sleeper Effect.

The Love They Lost: Living with the Legacy of Our Parents' Divorce by Stephanie Staal (Delacorte, 2000) An excellent resource that shows the commonality of our pain, this book shares the long term experiences of over 100 ACODs, including the author.

Split: Stories from a Generation Raised on Divorce by Ava Chin (Contemporary Books, 2002) A collection of memoirs from twenty some children of divorce.

Make Peace:
The Ragamuffin GospelThe Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning (Multnomah, 1990). A convicting read on the unconditional love of God.

Secret of Loving by Josh McDowell (Living Books, 1985). The chapter on forgiveness alone makes this book worth the purchase.

Why Forgive? by Johann Christopher Arnold (Family Christian Press, 2000): This book includes the stories of those who forfeited their understandable right to hold a grudge: the wife whose husband committed adultery, the mom who lost two children to the same bullet, the Jew who survived the Holocaust, the man who was shot and paralyzed…

What's So Amazing About GraceWhat's So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey (Zondervan, 1997). A newer classic offers compelling, true portraits of grace's life-changing power.

Embracing Forgiveness by Traci Mullins (Zondervan, 1998): This is perhaps one of the best Bible studies on the topic of forgiveness. It's part of the Woman of Faith resource library, but both men and women will benefit from the content.

In the Grip of Grace by Max Lucado (Thomas Nelson, 1999). Max Lucado demonstrates why he is one of the most popular Christian writers as he explains that we can never fall beyond God's love.

Grow In Our Faith:
Power of a Praying… series by Stormie Omartian (Harvest House). These perennial helpful how-to guide readers to cover every area of life with prayer.

Growing Up Fatherless: Healing from the Absence of Dad by Mike Nappa (Baker, 2003). Mike (a COD) shares how our heavenly Father is all we ever wanted from our own dads and more.

The Bible in a Year (Tyndale). The Bible isn't as overwhelming with this devotional divided up into 365 daily readings, each with a portion from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs.

The Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt: Elizabeth's book HAS not been published yet, but you can read her articles on this topic at www.americanvalues.org.

The Body by Charles Colson with Ellen Santilli Vaughn (Word, 1992) Regardless of what your opinion of churches in general, Chuck's book offers a challenging look at what the Church should be.

The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel (Zondervan, 2000). A more intellectual version of Letters From A Skeptic, Lee answers the tough questions that often keep people from Christianity such as, "If God is love, then what about all the suffering in our world?"

The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel (Zondervan, 1998). Lee Strobel was an investigative reporter for the Chicago times when his wife became a Christian. This book recreates Lee's search to prove her wrong.

Finding a Church You Can Call Home by George Barna (1992). A helpful guide for selecting a local church body.

Letters From A Skeptic by Robert Boyd (Victor, 1996). The Christian faith in layman's terms. The book is a series of letters from father (the skeptic) to son (a professor at a Bible college).

Classic Christianity by Bob George (Harvest House, 1989). Clear explanations of the basic principles of Christianity define the difference between a logical religion about God and a personal relationship with God.

The Treasure PrincipleTreasure Principle by Randy Alcorn (Multnomah, 2002). A short but challenging read on the concept of stewardship v. ownership in terms of our money and resources. By the way, Randy is an amazing fiction writer too. Check out Deadline, Dominion, Safely Home, Lord Foulgrin's Letters and The Ishbane Conspiracy.

The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey (Zondervan, 1997). Challenging the views of Jesus Christ presented by popular culture, Philip offers a new fresh perspective on the Savior.

Fran & Jesus On the Job by Mary Whelchel (Tyndale, 1993). One of the first books to help me understand the concept of "lordship," that is, allowing my faith to influence everything I do came in a disarming novel.

Honor Our Parents:
A Father's Legacy and Reflections of a Mother's Heart (J. Countryman, 2000). These fill-in-the-blank books offer a non-threatening way to learn about your parents' past.

Learn From Our Parents' Past:
Secrets of Your Family Tree by Dave Carder, et al. (Moody, 1999) An honest, healing look at dysfunctional families. Uses clinical and biblical examples to help you uncover the secrets of your family tree and start untangling those ties that bind.

Lies We Believe by Chris Thurman (Thomas Nelson, 1991). This book helps us discover the shadow beliefs that hold us back from experiencing healthy relationship with God & others. Workbook also available.

Adult Children of Legal and Emotional Divorce by Jim Conway (IVP, 1992) A how-to healing book from a COD who also holds five degrees in psychology and theology. Now out of print, you'll have to check the library for this one.

Growing Up Divorced by Arch Hart (Servant, 1994). Specifically for those who were between ages 4 and 14 when their parents' divorced, Dr. Hart (a COD) takes a more clinical approach to recognizing your childhood scars, grieving your losses and finding healing. Now out of print, you'll have to check the library for this one.

Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee & Leslie Strobel (Zondervan, 2002). Beyond the basic of just marrying a Christian, this book helps believers discover if their prospective spouse is spiritually compatible, and offers counsel for those who are mismatched.

Seek Accountability:
Finding A Mentor Being A MentorFinding a Mentor, Being A Mentor by Donna Otto (Harvest House, 2001). Two books in one, section one discusses the roles and responsibilities on mentoring, and part two outlines a 30-weeks mentering guide for women.

Mentoring by Bob Biehl (Broadman & Holman, 1997). Filled with helpful resources, this book takes the mystery of mentoring, offering insight into the importance of finding and becoming a mentor.

Connecting by Larry Crabb (Word, 1997). Built on the premise that if every person developed the kind of authentic, intimate relationships we were created to have, there would be no need for counselors!

Create Our Own Marriage Model:
Sacred MarriageThe Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (Zondervan, 2000). As a child of divorce afraid of failing at marriage, I read a LOT of books on the topic. I thought many would be helpful if I got married. Sacred Marriage made me want to get married. The underlying theme is: "What if the purpose of marriage is to make you holy, not happy." Viewing marriage as a spiritual discipline gave me confidence that I only needed to reflect on the consistency of my character to know that I could be successful in marriage.

Every Woman's Desire by Fred Stoeker & Steve Arterburn with Mike Yorkey (WaterBrook Press, 2001). Written primarily to men, the authors illustrate how mutual submission builds unity and oneness in marriage.

Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason (Multnomah, 1985). When we've grown up to see all that's bad about marriage, Mike's poetic prose in praise of marriage is a welcome respite.

How To Act Right When Your Spouse Acts WrongHow to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong by Leslie Vernick (WaterBrook Press, 2001). Everyone knows that it takes effort and hard work to make a good marriage. This book teaches us how to respond wisely when wronged and continue to love even when we are angry, hurt, scared or just plain irritated.

Passages of Marriage by Dr. Frank & Mary Alice Minirth, Dr. Brian & Dr. Deborah Newman, Dr. Robert and Susan Hemfelt. (Nelson, 1991). This helpful book fills in the gap to explain the five stages of a healthy, long lasting marriage and their corresponding tasks.

Divorce Proof Your Marriage by Linda S. Mintle, Ph.D (Siloam, 2001). Ten truths that prevent divorce are presented in contrast to the ten lies that lead to it. Also includes strategies for a healthy marriage.

Be Prepared:
Every Man's BattleEvery Man's Battle by Fred Stoeker & Steve Arterburn with Mike Yorkey (WaterBrook Press 2000). Shattering the perception that men are unable to control their thought lives and roving eyes, this book presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual purity.

Every Young Man's Battle by Fred Stoeker & Steve Arterburn with Mike Yorkey (WaterBrook Press 2002). Stoeker and company's challenging concepts directed to teens and young singles.

Choices by Mary Farrar (Multnomah, 1994). This eye-opening book on Biblical feminism offers women clarity on the confusing and conflicting expectations our culture presents to us.

The Soul Catchers by Kathy Eldon & Amy Eldon (Chronicle Books, 2001). This guided journal will help you examine and reflect on your relationship history and patterns so you can be aware of changes you may need to make.

Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders by Willard Harley (Baker Books, 2002). Is your Romantic Relationship Attitude keeping you from the love you desire? This helpful book will help you determine the message you are setting and how to change your course if needed.

What I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married by Kay Coles James (Multnomah, 2001). Helpful information for creating a more realistic understanding of the transition into marriage.

Choose Well:

Sex & The Single PersonSex and the Single Person by Robert G. DeMoss, Jr (Zondervan, 1995). This humorous, well-researched book helps Christian single adults deal with their desire for intimacy and achieve a contentment with their place in God's will.

Table for One by Camerin Courtney (Revell, 2002). Camerin shows how to dive into God's plan and purposes for this phase of life-whether it lasts for four years or forever. Also includes fun insets with Camerin's favorite books, movies, songs and more.

What To Do Until Love Finds You by Michelle McKinney Hammond (Harvest House, 1997). Michelle offers discover practical steps for healthy, God-centered relationships, advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of dating and the tools needed to lay a solid, biblical foundation for true love.

Should I Get MarriedShould I Get Married? by M. Blaine Smith (IVP, 2000). This book had a great impact my thinking regarding whether or not to marry, choosing well and putting common fears in proper perspective.

Boy Meets Girl by Josh Harris (Multnomah, 2001). The follow up to the wildly popular I Kissed Dating Goodbye uses the backdrop of Josh's own courtship and marriage to discuss communication, conflict resolution, dealing with past relationships and questions to ask before marriage.

Preparing for Marriage by David Boehl, et al, (Gospel Light, 1997). Everything you need to get to know someone well enough to decide about the future. Includes questions and special projects.

Choose To Love:
His Needs Her NeedsHis Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley (Revell, 2001). This insightful book reveals the five typical primary needs for men and woman—they're different for each sex!-and shows how meeting your spouse's five needs can improve your marriage.

Hiding From Love by Cloud & Townsend (Zondervan, 1996). Explore the hiding patterns you may have developed to deal with your hurts in this guide to the healing grace and truth that God has built into safe, connected relationships.

Love is a Decision by Gary Smalley & John Trent (Word, 1992). While our parents may have modeled that love is a fleeting feeling, this book challenges couples to choose to love with thirteen practical principles.

Bold Love by Dr. Dan B. Allender & Dr. Tremper Longman III (Navpress, 1993). With a solid foundation on the theology of love, the authors share practical illustrations of bold love in action. Of particular interest is an ongoing discussion on honoring parents.

A Love Worth Giving by Max Lucado (W, 2002). Max challenges readers that in order to freely love others, we must first understand, receive and embrace the love of God.

Our Identity As Abba's Child:
Abba's ChildAbba's Child by Brennan Manning (Multnomah, 1990). Subtitled The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging, the book offers the liberating message that God longs for us to know that He loves and accepts us as we are.

Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (Thomas Nelson, 2001). In this provocative book, John shows why he is quickly becoming the favorite author of Christian men, giving women a look inside the true heart of a man and giving men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive and free.

Dancing in the Arms of God by Connie Neal (Zondervan, 1995). This inspiring book draws on the analogy of Cinderella and her prince to present a tangible picture of the God who longs to fill every woman's deepest hopes and dreams.

The Search For Significance by Robert S. McGee (Word, 1998). This accessible book offers true stories, Bible references and practical advice to ease readers off the performance treadmill to find complete acceptance in Christ.

Objects of His Affection by Scott Smith (Howard, 2001). Follow the author's own journey from a closed, unresponsive relationship style to one that knows the delight and freedom of the God's love, and in the process, break through the barriers that hinder your own relationships, both in heaven and on earth.

Is there a book you'd like to recommend that's not on this list? Click here to share with others in the AbbasChild.org Community.

Email Jen | Newsletter Signup | Home | About Jen | Journal | Contribute | Message Board | Resources
©2002-08 JenAbbas.com - Site Designed & Maintained By
KMWeb Designs

It's official! On July 29, 2007, Jen Abbas became Jen Abbas de Jong!
Click here for wedding details!

To book Jen for an event, click here | To schedule an interview, click here

Email Newsletter