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> Books That Rock My World  ur
parents have given us a lot to unlearn. If we reflect on their lives and marriages,
we may find many traditions we would like to continue, but we will also want to
construct a different foundation in order to establish a new legacy. This requires
intentional reflection and a committed resolve to change your thinking. Consider
these books the materials for your mind's remodel.
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there a book you'd like to recommend that's not on this list? Click
here to share with others in the AbbasChild.org Community.
Our
Story:
 Second
Chances: Men, Women & Children a Decade after Divorce by Judith Wallerstein
& Sandra Blakeslee (Houghton Miffin, 1996). Judith Wallerstein is THE most prominent
expert in the long-term effects of divorce on children. This book introduces the
idea of the Sleeper Effect.
The
Love They Lost: Living with the Legacy of Our Parents' Divorce by Stephanie
Staal (Delacorte, 2000) An excellent resource that shows the commonality of our
pain, this book shares the long term experiences of over 100 ACODs, including
the author.
Split:
Stories from a Generation Raised on Divorce by Ava Chin (Contemporary
Books, 2002) A collection of memoirs from twenty some children of divorce.
Make
Peace:
 The
Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning (Multnomah, 1990). A convicting read
on the unconditional love of God.
Secret
of Loving by Josh McDowell (Living Books, 1985). The chapter on forgiveness
alone makes this book worth the purchase.
Why
Forgive? by Johann Christopher Arnold (Family Christian Press, 2000):
This book includes the stories of those who forfeited their understandable right
to hold a grudge: the wife whose husband committed adultery, the mom who lost
two children to the same bullet, the Jew who survived the Holocaust, the man who
was shot and paralyzed…
 What's
So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey (Zondervan, 1997). A newer classic
offers compelling, true portraits of grace's life-changing power.
Embracing
Forgiveness by Traci Mullins (Zondervan, 1998): This is perhaps one of
the best Bible studies on the topic of forgiveness. It's part of the Woman of
Faith resource library, but both men and women will benefit from the content.
In
the Grip of Grace by Max Lucado (Thomas Nelson, 1999). Max Lucado demonstrates
why he is one of the most popular Christian writers as he explains that we can
never fall beyond God's love.
Grow
In Our Faith:
Power
of a Praying… series by Stormie Omartian (Harvest House). These
perennial helpful how-to guide readers to cover every area of life with
prayer.
Growing
Up Fatherless: Healing from the Absence of Dad by Mike Nappa (Baker,
2003). Mike (a COD) shares how our heavenly Father is all we ever wanted
from our own dads and more.
The
Bible in a Year (Tyndale). The Bible isn't as overwhelming with
this devotional divided up into 365 daily readings, each with a portion
from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs.
The Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth
Marquardt: Elizabeth's book HAS not been published yet, but you can read
her articles on this topic at www.americanvalues.org.
 The
Body by Charles Colson with Ellen Santilli Vaughn (Word, 1992)
Regardless of what your opinion of churches in general, Chuck's book offers
a challenging look at what the Church should be.
The
Case for Faith by Lee Strobel (Zondervan, 2000). A more intellectual
version of Letters
From A Skeptic, Lee answers the tough questions that often keep
people from Christianity such as, "If God is love, then what about all
the suffering in our world?"
The
Case for Christ by Lee Strobel (Zondervan, 1998). Lee Strobel
was an investigative reporter for the Chicago times when his wife became
a Christian. This book recreates Lee's search to prove her wrong.
Finding
a Church You Can Call Home by George Barna (1992). A helpful guide
for selecting a local church body.
 Letters
From A Skeptic by Robert Boyd (Victor, 1996). The Christian faith
in layman's terms. The book is a series of letters from father (the skeptic)
to son (a professor at a Bible college).
Classic
Christianity by Bob George (Harvest House, 1989). Clear explanations
of the basic principles of Christianity define the difference between
a logical religion about God and a personal relationship with God.
 Treasure
Principle by Randy Alcorn (Multnomah, 2002). A short but challenging
read on the concept of stewardship v. ownership in terms of our money
and resources. By the way, Randy is an amazing fiction writer too. Check
out Deadline,
Dominion,
Safely Home, Lord
Foulgrin's Letters and The
Ishbane Conspiracy.
The
Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey (Zondervan, 1997). Challenging
the views of Jesus Christ presented by popular culture, Philip offers
a new fresh perspective on the Savior.
Fran
& Jesus On the Job by Mary Whelchel (Tyndale, 1993). One of the
first books to help me understand the concept of "lordship," that is,
allowing my faith to influence everything I do came in a disarming novel.
Honor
Our Parents:
A
Father's Legacy and Reflections
of a Mother's Heart (J. Countryman, 2000). These fill-in-the-blank books
offer a non-threatening way to learn about your parents' past.
Learn
From Our Parents' Past:
Secrets
of Your Family Tree by Dave Carder, et al. (Moody, 1999) An honest, healing
look at dysfunctional families. Uses clinical and biblical examples to help you
uncover the secrets of your family tree and start untangling those ties that bind.
 Lies
We Believe by Chris Thurman (Thomas Nelson, 1991). This book helps us
discover the shadow beliefs that hold us back from experiencing healthy relationship
with God & others. Workbook also available.
Adult
Children of Legal and Emotional Divorce by Jim Conway (IVP, 1992) A how-to
healing book from a COD who also holds five degrees in psychology and theology.
Now out of print, you'll have to check the library for this one.
Growing
Up Divorced by Arch Hart (Servant, 1994). Specifically for those who were
between ages 4 and 14 when their parents' divorced, Dr. Hart (a COD) takes a more
clinical approach to recognizing your childhood scars, grieving your losses and
finding healing. Now out of print, you'll have to check the library for this one.
Surviving
a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee & Leslie Strobel (Zondervan, 2002).
Beyond the basic of just marrying a Christian, this book helps believers discover
if their prospective spouse is spiritually compatible, and offers counsel for
those who are mismatched.
Seek
Accountability:
 Finding
a Mentor, Being A Mentor by Donna Otto (Harvest House, 2001). Two books
in one, section one discusses the roles and responsibilities on mentoring, and
part two outlines a 30-weeks mentering guide for women.
Mentoring
by Bob Biehl (Broadman & Holman, 1997). Filled with helpful resources, this book
takes the mystery of mentoring, offering insight into the importance of finding
and becoming a mentor.
Connecting
by Larry Crabb (Word, 1997). Built on the premise that if every person developed
the kind of authentic, intimate relationships we were created to have, there would
be no need for counselors!
Create
Our Own Marriage Model:
 The
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (Zondervan, 2000). As a child of divorce
afraid of failing at marriage, I read a LOT of books on the topic. I thought many
would be helpful if I got married. Sacred Marriage made me want to get married.
The underlying theme is: "What if the purpose of marriage is to make you holy,
not happy." Viewing marriage as a spiritual discipline gave me confidence that
I only needed to reflect on the consistency of my character to know that I could
be successful in marriage.
Every
Woman's Desire by Fred Stoeker & Steve Arterburn with Mike Yorkey (WaterBrook
Press, 2001). Written primarily to men, the authors illustrate how mutual submission
builds unity and oneness in marriage.
Mystery
of Marriage by Mike Mason (Multnomah, 1985). When we've grown up to see
all that's bad about marriage, Mike's poetic prose in praise of marriage is a
welcome respite.
 How
to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong by Leslie Vernick (WaterBrook
Press, 2001). Everyone knows that it takes effort and hard work to make a good
marriage. This book teaches us how to respond wisely when wronged and continue
to love even when we are angry, hurt, scared or just plain irritated.
Passages
of Marriage by Dr. Frank & Mary Alice Minirth, Dr. Brian & Dr. Deborah
Newman, Dr. Robert and Susan Hemfelt. (Nelson, 1991). This helpful book fills
in the gap to explain the five stages of a healthy, long lasting marriage and
their corresponding tasks.
Divorce Proof Your Marriage by Linda S. Mintle, Ph.D (Siloam, 2001). Ten
truths that prevent divorce are presented in contrast to the ten lies that lead
to it. Also includes strategies for a healthy marriage.
Be
Prepared:
 Every
Man's Battle by Fred Stoeker & Steve Arterburn with Mike Yorkey (WaterBrook
Press 2000). Shattering the perception that men are unable to control their thought
lives and roving eyes, this book presents a practical, detailed plan for any man
who desires sexual purity.
Every
Young Man's Battle by Fred Stoeker & Steve Arterburn with Mike Yorkey
(WaterBrook Press 2002). Stoeker and company's challenging concepts directed to
teens and young singles.
Choices
by Mary Farrar (Multnomah, 1994). This eye-opening book on Biblical feminism offers
women clarity on the confusing and conflicting expectations our culture presents
to us.
The
Soul Catchers by Kathy Eldon & Amy Eldon (Chronicle Books, 2001). This
guided journal will help you examine and reflect on your relationship history
and patterns so you can be aware of changes you may need to make.
Buyers,
Renters and Freeloaders by Willard Harley (Baker Books, 2002). Is your
Romantic Relationship Attitude keeping you from the love you desire? This helpful
book will help you determine the message you are setting and how to change your
course if needed.
What
I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married by Kay Coles James (Multnomah, 2001).
Helpful information for creating a more realistic understanding of the transition
into marriage.
Choose
Well:
 Sex
and the Single Person by Robert G. DeMoss, Jr (Zondervan, 1995). This
humorous, well-researched book helps Christian single adults deal with their desire
for intimacy and achieve a contentment with their place in God's will.
Table
for One by Camerin Courtney (Revell, 2002). Camerin shows how to dive
into God's plan and purposes for this phase of life-whether it lasts for four
years or forever. Also includes fun insets with Camerin's favorite books, movies,
songs and more.
What
To Do Until Love Finds You by Michelle McKinney Hammond (Harvest House,
1997). Michelle offers discover practical steps for healthy, God-centered relationships,
advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of dating and the tools needed to lay a solid,
biblical foundation for true love.
 Should
I Get Married? by M. Blaine Smith (IVP, 2000). This book had a great impact
my thinking regarding whether or not to marry, choosing well and putting common
fears in proper perspective.
Boy
Meets Girl by Josh Harris (Multnomah, 2001). The follow up to the wildly
popular I Kissed Dating Goodbye uses the backdrop of Josh's own courtship and
marriage to discuss communication, conflict resolution, dealing with past relationships
and questions to ask before marriage.
Preparing
for Marriage by David Boehl, et al, (Gospel Light, 1997). Everything you
need to get to know someone well enough to decide about the future. Includes questions
and special projects.
Choose
To Love:
 His
Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley (Revell, 2001). This insightful book
reveals the five typical primary needs for men and woman—they're different
for each sex!-and shows how meeting your spouse's five needs can improve your
marriage.
Hiding
From Love by Cloud & Townsend (Zondervan, 1996). Explore the hiding patterns
you may have developed to deal with your hurts in this guide to the healing grace
and truth that God has built into safe, connected relationships.
 Love
is a Decision by Gary Smalley & John Trent (Word, 1992). While our parents
may have modeled that love is a fleeting feeling, this book challenges couples
to choose to love with thirteen practical principles.
Bold
Love by Dr. Dan B. Allender & Dr. Tremper Longman III (Navpress, 1993).
With a solid foundation on the theology of love, the authors share practical illustrations
of bold love in action. Of particular interest is an ongoing discussion on honoring
parents.
A
Love Worth Giving by Max Lucado (W, 2002). Max challenges readers that
in order to freely love others, we must first understand, receive and embrace
the love of God.
Our
Identity As Abba's Child:
 Abba's
Child by Brennan Manning (Multnomah, 1990). Subtitled The Cry of the Heart
for Intimate Belonging, the book offers the liberating message that God longs
for us to know that He loves and accepts us as we are.
Wild
at Heart by John Eldredge (Thomas Nelson, 2001). In this provocative book,
John shows why he is quickly becoming the favorite author of Christian men, giving
women a look inside the true heart of a man and giving men permission to be what
God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive and free.
 Dancing
in the Arms of God by Connie Neal (Zondervan, 1995). This inspiring book
draws on the analogy of Cinderella and her prince to present a tangible picture
of the God who longs to fill every woman's deepest hopes and dreams.
The
Search For Significance by Robert S. McGee (Word, 1998). This accessible
book offers true stories, Bible references and practical advice to ease readers
off the performance treadmill to find complete acceptance in Christ.
Objects
of His Affection by Scott Smith (Howard, 2001). Follow the author's own
journey from a closed, unresponsive relationship style to one that knows the delight
and freedom of the God's love, and in the process, break through the barriers
that hinder your own relationships, both in heaven and on earth.
Is
there a book you'd like to recommend that's not on this list? Click
here to share with others in the AbbasChild.org Community.
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